Used, abused and totally taken for granted

[Tink]

I'm SO mad

If my situation doesn't change soon I'm just going to go ballistic! I get home from work to find a huge mess, no one has let the dog out, he's ripped the house up because they couldn't bother to put him in his crate, and the dirty dishes and laundry just keep piling up.

The "kids" (ages 18 and 20) keep showing up at work to borrow money, and I'm not talking $5 or $10...

My son now owes me about $2000 and he has no job. He's up all night and sleeps all day and seems all too comfy with the arrangement. Hubby co-signed for his car, put it in our name, and now we're stuck with payments and insurance on it that we have to pay. It's not worth near what he owes on it, so we're stuck with it even though it's not something either of us would want to drive. He also took MY car last stpring without permission and got into a fender bender that cost $2500 which he's supposed to pay off. If he doesn't pay, HE loses his drivers license and I lose the license plates on my car. So you know who is stuck with that bill! If we add the cost of the car, the crash bill, and what he's borrowed from us, he owes more than $11,000 to us and the amount just keeps growing!

Hubby just can't see how nuts this is. Our son does nothing around here but mess and cost us BIG bucks. It's not fair to us, and it's not healthy for him to be getting by with it. I seriously resent having to work to support his lazy butt and live in his squalor to boot.

Our daughter usually pays us back as she works at burger king full time, but she too refuses to do anything at home. She messes but won't clean, and more often than not she treats me like I am simply in her way.

I often end up just sitting in my bedroom to avoid the chaos they cause when they're home, and get woke up several times a week by them calling for rides, or coming in late and being loud.

I won't get any help from them getting ready for Christmas, and would be shocked if I get som much as a card from either the kids or hubby. I'm tempted to just throw the tree out and say to heck with it.

How much is a parent supposed to tolerate? What can I do if my husband won't back me? I feel like I'm simply losing my mind and I want to just have some peace and a house I'm not ashamed to invite guests into. It seems that's asking too much.