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03-19-2008, 07:20 AM
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Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Rural Wisconsin
Posts: 3,707
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Why, Why, Why ???
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the wor d 'Lisp'? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why do n't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?' Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm a s it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
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'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.' England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair' |
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03-19-2008, 08:04 AM
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KAT'S KRAZY KORNER
Donating Member 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicago
Posts: 3,031
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 You're killing me!!!Where do you find this stuff? 
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A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should.  Kat
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03-19-2008, 10:05 AM
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#3 |
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Moderator
Donating 4WT 18K Club Member 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 21,625
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Oh Tink those are hilarious!!!!
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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1 |
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03-19-2008, 10:23 AM
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KAT'S KRAZY KORNER
Donating Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicago
Posts: 3,031
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Tink,
Why do people hit the button sveral times while waiting for the elevator?
__________________
A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should. Kat
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03-19-2008, 10:25 AM
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Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 6,509
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LOL Thanks Tink! I really enjoyed those.
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~MT |
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03-19-2008, 04:16 PM
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#6 |
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Moderator
Donating 4WT 13K Club Member 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Kansas
Posts: 16,069
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Hilarious!!!!
Ok, now who's going to answer them? Obviously not me!! I'm having blonde moments today!
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*´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends.......
Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!! |
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03-19-2008, 05:43 PM
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#7 |
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Donating 4WT 500 Club Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 6,025
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Tink I enjoyed them to.. thanks!
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03-19-2008, 06:15 PM
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Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Texas
Posts: 4,907
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Those are good ones!!!!! Thank you for brightening our day!!!
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 Marilyn If anyone would like a free Bible Study CD or book entitled "Searching for Truth", PM me with your mailing address and I'll send you one. "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32
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03-20-2008, 05:45 AM
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#9 | |
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Moderator
Donating 4WT 18K Club Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 21,625
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Quote:
I will!!!!! Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? because the batteries last so long we forget they take batteries. Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money? They know you'll deposit the money and they'll get theirs. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? because they can Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? No air Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? most needles are packaged already sterilized Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Because Johnny Weismuller looks horrible with a beard. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? because he doesn't want to waste his power on something, that being thrown, won't kill him. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? They obviously haven't thought it through...that and the fact that the helmet keeps their hair in place for when they meet the virgins. Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the wor d 'Lisp'? Soupy Sales If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why are their still men? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? They're clean Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Yes, whenever I'm looking for one Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? We always have hope...we're human Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? so they don't then have to walk to the trash container Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? Not sure about this one like I am on the others. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? The dust bunnies hop up and put them there. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why do n't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?' Because we're not only afraid of hurting their feelings, but afraid they'll beat the crap out of us. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? law of physics. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm a s it was in summer when we complained about the heat? So someone would ask this question.. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? Most feel sorry for them for being married to the MIL And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. Some nut must have thought up this one.
__________________
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1 |
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03-20-2008, 07:39 AM
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#10 |
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Moderator
Donating 4WT 13K Club Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Kansas
Posts: 16,069
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Good job, Janet!!! I love the one that the dust bunnies put bugs in the lights!!!
You're so smart!!!!!
__________________
*´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends.......
Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!! |
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03-20-2008, 02:30 PM
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#11 |
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KAT'S KRAZY KORNER
Donating Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicago
Posts: 3,031
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 "Afraid they'll beat the crap out of us" I'm laughing so hard I've got tears in my eyes.  You guys are so funny.
__________________
A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should. Kat
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03-24-2008, 06:14 AM
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#12 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Aventura, FL
Posts: 221
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*giggle*
i'm sitting at wrk trying not to LOL (stop it gals!!!) |
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