4WomenTalk Forums Community for Women - View Single Post - Used, abused and totally taken for granted

khardy57 · 12-17-2006, 08:18 AM

I'm so glad you were to talk openly with your hubby. Sometimes all it takes is to clear the air and it sounds like the two of you did that.

I'm sorry about your daughter, but sometimes they just have to sink or swim. I eloped and left home at 16 and boy did I have an eye opening experience. But, I've done well and on sheer determination. Your daughter obviously has a mother who loves and cares about her. You just want the best for your children and it's frustrating to know that they don't want the best for themselves. She'll either make it, or she'll come home with a deeper appreciation of all you do for her. This goes for your son too. You'll probably have to yank his chain a little harder, though.

The problem you're having makes me think of my aunt and her four children. They were handed everything and raised with maids who did everything for them. She finally got tired of it all and as each one graduated, she gave them options:

They could go to college - all espenses paid
They could get married (which was just stupid)
They could join the military

Two of the boys joined the army. The youngest was sent to military school, and the daughter got married.

Even after this, she was constantly having to bail each one out of one financial disaster after another. When she became ill, she didn't call her children, she made her husband bring her to my mother's house. My mom asked me to come over and see what I thought was going on and I took one look and we took her to the ER.

Both she and my uncle told us not to call the kids. They didn't want them to "worry" . Well, when my aunt was transferred to another hospital by ambulance, my sisters and I called her kids and they couldn't be bothered to come. The daughter (in another state) asked "If it was your mother would you come"? Well, hell yes! Put your butt on a plane and get here.

Bottom line, my aunt died 2 weeks later with none of her kids there. My mom and dad, me, my sister, and my uncle were there - but none of her kids. And to this day - none of her kids will call my Mother or answer e-mail.

You don't want this to happen to you Tink - so stick to your guns!!!!!

12-17-2006, 08:18 AM	#36
khardy57 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 278	I'm so glad you were to talk openly with your hubby. Sometimes all it takes is to clear the air and it sounds like the two of you did that. I'm sorry about your daughter, but sometimes they just have to sink or swim. I eloped and left home at 16 and boy did I have an eye opening experience. But, I've done well and on sheer determination. Your daughter obviously has a mother who loves and cares about her. You just want the best for your children and it's frustrating to know that they don't want the best for themselves. She'll either make it, or she'll come home with a deeper appreciation of all you do for her. This goes for your son too. You'll probably have to yank his chain a little harder, though. The problem you're having makes me think of my aunt and her four children. They were handed everything and raised with maids who did everything for them. She finally got tired of it all and as each one graduated, she gave them options: They could go to college - all espenses paid They could get married (which was just stupid) They could join the military Two of the boys joined the army. The youngest was sent to military school, and the daughter got married. Even after this, she was constantly having to bail each one out of one financial disaster after another. When she became ill, she didn't call her children, she made her husband bring her to my mother's house. My mom asked me to come over and see what I thought was going on and I took one look and we took her to the ER. Both she and my uncle told us not to call the kids. They didn't want them to "worry" . Well, when my aunt was transferred to another hospital by ambulance, my sisters and I called her kids and they couldn't be bothered to come. The daughter (in another state) asked "If it was your mother would you come"? Well, hell yes! Put your butt on a plane and get here. Bottom line, my aunt died 2 weeks later with none of her kids there. My mom and dad, me, my sister, and my uncle were there - but none of her kids. And to this day - none of her kids will call my Mother or answer e-mail. You don't want this to happen to you Tink - so stick to your guns!!!!!