What's the right age?

[khardy57]

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

I think 18 is a reasonable age for them to move out. I would sit down and talk to both of them and ask them what their goals for the future and future plans are. Once they tell you, then you can help them put their plan into action. I guess based on their expectations for the future, then you can decide when they should be moving out.

But they should DEFINATELY be chipping in somehow. If not rent and utilities, then definately CHORES! You should not be doing ANY chores if your adult children are living with you and not paying rent. They should be doing ALL the chores. They should definately be earning their keep. Hey, maybe if they have enough chores, then that will entice them to move out. Also, maybe they should have rules, like a curfew, etc. Tell them that as long as they are living with you, they will have to abide by the rules of your home. I mean, why on earth would they WANT to move out on their own if they are living with you for FREE, eating for FREE, and having all the freedom they would have if they were living on their own?! You need to give them a reason to want to move out and get their own place. Rules and chores are a good way to do this.

This is exactly how I feel about it! My 27 year old is living with me since my husband died and he pays rent and helps out around the house. He also respects my rules while he's here.

I moved out at 19 when I went to school. My mom hated it and the only reason I was "allowed" to go was because I couldnt commute because it was too far. Haha..needess to say, my parents would NEVER have accepted money from me for rent or food. However, I always helped out in non-monatary ways, such as laundry, dishes, etc. I also didn't have the freedom I have now that I live on my own. But to each his own..

[Lindsey]

When I was 18 I couldn't WAIT to move out. With my parents, I had to follow their rules, be home when they said, eat what they wanted for meals, and helped with cleaning. I've always felt a little older than I am though, and I was excited to be paying rent and bills, buying my own groceries (whatever I wanted), planning my own meals, and staying out as late as I wanted. Oh and having my boyfriend spend the night!
Some people though are more attached to their parents than I was. I think 18 is a good age for them to move out and see what living in the real world is like, while still being young enough to fall back on their parents if it's needed.

[Janet]

I really don't know what a "good" age is... I would think if they were in college they could still have their room at home, but when home, help out with daily chores.

If they were not going to college then as soon as they graduated high school, if they were to stay home, rent, groceries and chores, at 20 they should be out on their own. It also depends on their maturity level. So much to consider!!

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Janet

I really don't know what a "good" age is... I would think if they were in college they could still have their room at home, but when home, help out with daily chores.

If they were not going to college then as soon as they graduated high school, if they were to stay home, rent, groceries and chores, at 20 they should be out on their own. It also depends on their maturity level. So much to consider!!

I agree!!!!!!!! I think after high school is the perfect age for them to start being self-sufficient. If they are not off at college and they are still living at home, then I think they should definately be helping out financially as well as with the responsibilites of the household.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

I agree!!!!!!!! I think after high school is the perfect age for them to start being self-sufficient. If they are not off at college and they are still living at home, then I think they should definately be helping out financially as well as with the responsibilites of the household.

Rebecca....were we separated at birth??????? LOLOL That would have been great....I would be so much younger....LMAO!

[Gina]

Hummm lets see here... I have two children 19 yrs and 21 yrs old. They are both in college full time. My daughter dorms at the school , comes home maybe twice a mt. on weekends. My son lives home and lives the life of Riley lol. is a student at a local college. I am an italian mother I guess....lol I don't tell my son to ever leave, but I do tell him this summer he has to apply to a job in city for he has yr. left of school. Due to his playing baseball and then dropping it, he has classes to make up. They both work odd jobs to make extra money, now my daughter can't she has many science classes and I want her studying and passing.. On breaks and summer vacation she always works. When they are finished with school, I will take money from them, but I know me I will save it for them , for when they go out on their own.