Layla

[judy]

Welcome to how men deal with a crisis!!! It is very normal for a couple to fight when there is stress, and you both have a lot! You bought the house, and just moved in, and now Layla needs to recover.

If you can, try to remember how much he does love you and Layla. (Just look on FB at his picture kissing her). The reality is that nobody is there for you, or on the same page as you are 100% of the time. You don't really need him to lean on. You are quite strong on your own. He is there, he loves you both, and is doing his best. I would say he is a stand up guy.

If he starts to complain, or yell, don't answer if you can do that. Less is best, and he may just not realize he is just taking his stress on the nearest person around.

[Lindsey]

Thank you. I know he is sorry and he loves us a lot. He is doing so much for Layla even if it's not just being with her all the time like I am. He's setting up appointments for therapy and he arranged for us to pick up a second-hand crate for her tonight after work, and he's really just doing so much extra so that I won't have to do it. I need to remember things like that.

[gja1000]

Hi Lindsay, I'm so sorry all this is happening. It is such a big change right now for all of you.

Please try to remember that it will NOT always be this stressful. You WILL get into a routine and life will become more normal, albeit, changed.

This always happens when a health crisis occurs, even with humans, or our children. It seems like the whole world is crashing down around us and in some ways, it is.

But you will make a new way, and Layla's health will become a part of your life, not your whole life. It will take time for the adjustment to occur, but it will occur, and whatever happens with Layla, whether she gets better or stays the same, you will integrate it into your life and will not be as overwhelming as it is right now. You will learn exactly what to do, when to do it, and you will have a set routine that works.

Think of parents or spouses who go through this with their children or husband/wife - it is completely overwhelming and devastating. It is so stressful and people think they can't cope - but 99% of the time, they can cope and they come through the experience better and stronger for having gone through it.

You will be fine - I KNOW it doesn't seem like that right now, but you will be fine. You need to connect with someone who has gone through this with a pet. You need to try to be able to call or connect with them on a regular basis. It will help you to talk with people who have been through it and who are doing just fine. They will validate that your feelings are normal (and they are) and they will be able to give you hope that you can cope (and you can).

I'm not minimizing what you are going through - at all. It is one of the most traumatic things you have ever delt with. But you will get through it. You are a strong, smart, and resourceful woman.

I wish I were there to give you a big HUG!

[Gina]

Lindsey I agree with the other girls.. You and Scott have been through a lot , between the move and Layla its taking an emotional toll. Most men do not know how to cope with sickness and my husband is one of them.. We are women and like Paula mentioned we have maternal instincts , we do best at it. Try not to fight and just over look his frustrations thats what they are and he is acting out on it. He feels helpless that he cannot help Layla in her condition and is afraid as you are... Gayle hit it on the head you are both overwhelmed and in time all will fall into place..

Get some rest and just give Layla love and please don't put up a barrier with Scott try to understand where he is coming from.. It's not easy, you both need to be there for Layla and each other... hugs to you...

[Blueyes]

You've been given wonderful advice Lindsey. I don't have anything to add except that I love you and am praying for you all.

[Marilyn]

All I know to do is give you a hug, (((((((((((Lindsey)))))))))))))

[Lindsey]

Thank you all. We have both just been so upset and frustrated lately, and it came to a head. He came at lunch to bring a package of meat, and he had to run out quick but he told me he loved me, and he already did the rest of our grocery shopping too so we could leave right after work. I love him.

We got Layla a crate tonight and she seems pretty happy in it. We also stopped at the vet here on our way home so she could see Layla. Her husband was there too and he kept saying how Layla was so sweet and had such kind eyes. The vet said "I know, I have to keep asking why it had to happen to THIS dog" but she is still praying for her recovery. She also did a urinalysis because we have been worried about the darkness and odor of Layla's pee... I know it's not like her normal pee. When we called the hospital they said don't worry, but I'm glad we got this urinalysis done because it turns out she does have a slight bladder infection. I knew it. And the vet quickly found out for us after her clinic was already closed. Did I mention I love this town?

On the advice of another yorkie owner from the city (on YT) I got a second opinion about Layla's recovery and therapy and was told that right after surgery is a great time for acupuncture because it helps rebuild connections as the spine is healing itself. So I made an appointment for tomorrow. Right now the bath tub is full and I'm going to go do some water therapy with Layla before finally getting to bed. I have an alarm set for midnight to give her more medication.

This is a full time job right now!

[Lindsey]

I am feeling exhausted physically and emotionally. I took her to acupuncture this morning and she loved it and relaxed and fell asleep. Now we're at work and she's asleep in her crate beside me but every time I look at her my heart breaks. I am not getting any real work done and there's a lot of pressure because I'm the only drafter here and people need their drawings done for reports that are due and I just can't concentrate.