What's the right age?

Janet · 11-09-2006, 06:08 AM

I also wanted to add that I think all kids should be taught to be self-sufficient. I know it probably sounds as if I'm bragging, but I'm not. I just felt it was important to teach my son. He's 15 and can do his own laundry, cook a meal, bake, balance his checkbook. Yes at 15 he has a checkbook, but he's been "working" since he was 12 years old. He started by going out in the fields and gathering corn that the combines missed. He use to shell it using an antique corn sheller, but then the grain elevator said it didn't need to be done. So his father drove him to the elevator to turn in his corn and they would pay him. His first fall season earned him over $300.00.

Heaven forbid, the good Lord would take me from him at this age, but if he so chose to do so, my son will be able to do well. He has all the basics, is kind, sensitive and also strong willed.

He does have a good work ethic and knows if he wants a car..he has to pay for it and all that goes along with it. He's ready..at least he says he is.

If he chooses to live at home for awhile after he graduates we will be thrilled to let him stay, but he will have chores or duties to perform here at home, just as he would if he was to live on his own. I pray that I have prepared him enough, but he's only 15 so hopefully we can instill even more within the next few years.

RLC12345678 · 11-09-2006, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janet

I also wanted to add that I think all kids should be taught to be self-sufficient. I know it probably sounds as if I'm bragging, but I'm not. I just felt it was important to teach my son. He's 15 and can do his own laundry, cook a meal, bake, balance his checkbook. Yes at 15 he has a checkbook, but he's been "working" since he was 12 years old. He started by going out in the fields and gathering corn that the combines missed. He use to shell it using an antique corn sheller, but then the grain elevator said it didn't need to be done. So his father drove him to the elevator to turn in his corn and they would pay him. His first fall season earned him over $300.00.

Heaven forbid, the good Lord would take me from him at this age, but if he so chose to do so, my son will be able to do well. He has all the basics, is kind, sensitive and also strong willed.

He does have a good work ethic and knows if he wants a car..he has to pay for it and all that goes along with it. He's ready..at least he says he is.

If he chooses to live at home for awhile after he graduates we will be thrilled to let him stay, but he will have chores or duties to perform here at home, just as he would if he was to live on his own. I pray that I have prepared him enough, but he's only 15 so hopefully we can instill even more within the next few years.

Janet, I do believe we were separated at birth!!!!!

My parents taught me the same thing. I got a checkbook at 15, I've had a job since I was 15, I have been doing my own laundry ever since I can remember, I've always helped my mom cook, and my parents never did the dishes (that was always me and my sisters' responsibility), and when I turned 16, I was given a lot of freedom to make decisions on my own. I could not WAIT to be out on my own. I am very mature in that respect. My parents always emphasized that I needed to be able to take care of myself and be independant and not ever have to rely on ANYONE for ANYTHING, not them (my parents) or a man.

Janet · 11-09-2006, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

Janet, I do believe we were separated at birth!!!!!

My parents taught me the same thing. I got a checkbook at 15, I've had a job since I was 15, I have been doing my own laundry ever since I can remember, I've always helped my mom cook, and my parents never did the dishes (that was always me and my sisters' responsibility), and when I turned 16, I was given a lot of freedom to make decisions on my own. I could not WAIT to be out on my own. I am very mature in that respect. My parents always emphasized that I needed to be able to take care of myself and be independant and not ever have to rely on ANYONE for ANYTHING, not them (my parents) or a man.

Sounds like your parents did a great job. From all your posts, here and at YT, I would be proud to call you my daughter.

Tink · 11-11-2006, 04:31 PM

OMG Crystal, I couldn't handle that! THIS is driving me bonkers and they're 18 and 20. LOL

My kids have done their own laundry since they were 12. They might not like doing it, but if they want clean clothes, they get it done.

Both of my older 2 are good enough cooks that they've cooked in restaurants (one in a city cafe and bar and grill, the other in a steak house) and the youngest can cook enough to keep herself fed if she absolutely has to.

She's just not as good at it as the other 2.

It's not a matter of them not knowing how to do things... they simply try to get away with not having to do any more than they have to.

I keep telling hubby that there's no reason for them to ever move out if they're TOO comfortable here. For example, Katie moved out for a few weeks and moved back home. When she moved back, she left her bed behind. NOW she expects US to buy her a new one. I refuse! Hubby was all ready to do it and I won't let him.
If she wants a bed, she can buy it! Right now she's sleeping on the sofa, which I don't like. I want her sleeping in her bedroom, but she rarely makes it that far.

Miss_Sara · 11-29-2006, 06:53 PM

I think it really depends
like if they were in community college, I'd say they could stay until they were done witht hat school (so 2 more years)
but if they weren't doing anything
I would say they better leave. Unless they're doing a year off thing, or have kids, or any other special circumstance.

It really depends ont he kind of people you are, and the kind of people they are.

If they have their life on track, are in college, have a job, etc. but haven't moved out yet, it's likely they're saving up for it...

I say don't charge them, I think that would really hurt them, unless they're in their 20s (meaning, OVER the age of 20) and not planning to leave. But they should be helping out around the house. Definitly

12-14-2006, 12:07 AM

I think 18-19 is a good age cause that is usually when they go off to college. It's easier to do it that way by dorming because then you become independent and you have an excuse for it.

Lissa · 12-14-2006, 01:26 PM

There's no flat age to kick someone out, I'd say out by 28 at the latest, but it really depends on the person.

I moved out this past August and am living in a dorm (I'm turning 20 next month). My parents pay my tuition cause I don't qualify for financial aid, and they also pay my room and board. They won't let me get a job so they give me $60 every two weeks to get by. I hate it. I would rather have a job and be working to take over my own expenses. Even if they don't like it I'm going to try to get a job when I get back to school. I'm planning on getting an apartment in July so I need to be saving up for that so the bills wont sneak up on me, I want enough money to have the rent and expenses covered for at least 4-5 months in case I hit a rough spot.

I'd encourage your kids to get better jobs and start saving up. Chances are they want to move out, I know my sister(21) wants to and is planning to in August or so. If you think they feel too comfortable you could always start to get a little annoying about doing chores to light a fire under their rears and get them wanting to move out. I'd say my parents do a good job with that

Cribal · 11-09-2006, 01:51 PM

I think if their out of school then they should be out of the house or helping paying for things. At 16 I had a job, checking acct, I was paying for my first car and paying for my own car ins. I'm glad that my mom taught me how to keep up with bills and manage my money. I admit I did get my first credit card at 18 and went crazy but I never missed a payment b/c my mom also made sure I knew never to mess up my credit. Now I've paid for two cars, I'm paying on a mortgage on a house, married and I think doing quite well for myself.

Now my best friend Lindsey is another story. She is my age (almost 25) and still living with her parents and still working a part time job. She has never had a bill in her life except her cell phone bill. Her parents treat her and her brother (still living at home and working at a pizza place at the age of 28) like their still kids. They have no responsibility at all. And it would be different if they were saving up money to move out or something but neither one of them even have a checking acct. They have no savings even though they have NO BILLS. I don't know if they will ever move out of their house. Me and Lindsey's plans since we were kids was to move out together when we were 18. I moved out at 18 and she's still never left...LOL

So be careful. If you don't have them making some kind of effort to move out or be on their own then you could end up having them until their 28 too...LOL

Sorry this was so long

11-09-2006, 06:08 AM	#1
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	I also wanted to add that I think all kids should be taught to be self-sufficient. I know it probably sounds as if I'm bragging, but I'm not. I just felt it was important to teach my son. He's 15 and can do his own laundry, cook a meal, bake, balance his checkbook. Yes at 15 he has a checkbook, but he's been "working" since he was 12 years old. He started by going out in the fields and gathering corn that the combines missed. He use to shell it using an antique corn sheller, but then the grain elevator said it didn't need to be done. So his father drove him to the elevator to turn in his corn and they would pay him. His first fall season earned him over $300.00. Heaven forbid, the good Lord would take me from him at this age, but if he so chose to do so, my son will be able to do well. He has all the basics, is kind, sensitive and also strong willed. He does have a good work ethic and knows if he wants a car..he has to pay for it and all that goes along with it. He's ready..at least he says he is. If he chooses to live at home for awhile after he graduates we will be thrilled to let him stay, but he will have chores or duties to perform here at home, just as he would if he was to live on his own. I pray that I have prepared him enough, but he's only 15 so hopefully we can instill even more within the next few years. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

11-11-2006, 04:31 PM	#4
Tink Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Rural Wisconsin Posts: 3,707	OMG Crystal, I couldn't handle that! THIS is driving me bonkers and they're 18 and 20. LOL My kids have done their own laundry since they were 12. They might not like doing it, but if they want clean clothes, they get it done. Both of my older 2 are good enough cooks that they've cooked in restaurants (one in a city cafe and bar and grill, the other in a steak house) and the youngest can cook enough to keep herself fed if she absolutely has to. She's just not as good at it as the other 2. It's not a matter of them not knowing how to do things... they simply try to get away with not having to do any more than they have to. I keep telling hubby that there's no reason for them to ever move out if they're TOO comfortable here. For example, Katie moved out for a few weeks and moved back home. When she moved back, she left her bed behind. NOW she expects US to buy her a new one. I refuse! Hubby was all ready to do it and I won't let him. If she wants a bed, she can buy it! Right now she's sleeping on the sofa, which I don't like. I want her sleeping in her bedroom, but she rarely makes it that far. __________________ 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.' England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair' Last edited by Tink; 11-11-2006 at 04:33 PM.

11-29-2006, 06:53 PM	#5
Miss_Sara Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 120	I think it really depends like if they were in community college, I'd say they could stay until they were done witht hat school (so 2 more years) but if they weren't doing anything I would say they better leave. Unless they're doing a year off thing, or have kids, or any other special circumstance. It really depends ont he kind of people you are, and the kind of people they are. If they have their life on track, are in college, have a job, etc. but haven't moved out yet, it's likely they're saving up for it... I say don't charge them, I think that would really hurt them, unless they're in their 20s (meaning, OVER the age of 20) and not planning to leave. But they should be helping out around the house. Definitly __________________ God has filled my arms

12-14-2006, 01:26 PM	#7
Lissa Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: South and Central Texas Posts: 337	There's no flat age to kick someone out, I'd say out by 28 at the latest, but it really depends on the person. I moved out this past August and am living in a dorm (I'm turning 20 next month). My parents pay my tuition cause I don't qualify for financial aid, and they also pay my room and board. They won't let me get a job so they give me $60 every two weeks to get by. I hate it. I would rather have a job and be working to take over my own expenses. Even if they don't like it I'm going to try to get a job when I get back to school. I'm planning on getting an apartment in July so I need to be saving up for that so the bills wont sneak up on me, I want enough money to have the rent and expenses covered for at least 4-5 months in case I hit a rough spot. I'd encourage your kids to get better jobs and start saving up. Chances are they want to move out, I know my sister(21) wants to and is planning to in August or so. If you think they feel too comfortable you could always start to get a little annoying about doing chores to light a fire under their rears and get them wanting to move out. I'd say my parents do a good job with that __________________ Marilyn's Disappearing Daughter!! Cake or Death, Melissa "Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised." Heb 10:35-36

11-09-2006, 01:51 PM	#8
Cribal Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Mt. Ulla, NC Posts: 121	I think if their out of school then they should be out of the house or helping paying for things. At 16 I had a job, checking acct, I was paying for my first car and paying for my own car ins. I'm glad that my mom taught me how to keep up with bills and manage my money. I admit I did get my first credit card at 18 and went crazy but I never missed a payment b/c my mom also made sure I knew never to mess up my credit. Now I've paid for two cars, I'm paying on a mortgage on a house, married and I think doing quite well for myself. Now my best friend Lindsey is another story. She is my age (almost 25) and still living with her parents and still working a part time job. She has never had a bill in her life except her cell phone bill. Her parents treat her and her brother (still living at home and working at a pizza place at the age of 28) like their still kids. They have no responsibility at all. And it would be different if they were saving up money to move out or something but neither one of them even have a checking acct. They have no savings even though they have NO BILLS. I don't know if they will ever move out of their house. Me and Lindsey's plans since we were kids was to move out together when we were 18. I moved out at 18 and she's still never left...LOL So be careful. If you don't have them making some kind of effort to move out or be on their own then you could end up having them until their 28 too...LOL Sorry this was so long __________________ Crystal

12-14-2006, 12:07 AM	#6
Fairydust125 Guest Posts: n/a	I think 18-19 is a good age cause that is usually when they go off to college. It's easier to do it that way by dorming because then you become independent and you have an excuse for it.

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