Used, abused and totally taken for granted

[Emmsmom]

Originally Posted by Tink

Thanks CChu

I have talked calmly, I have screamed like a banshee I have pleaded and threatened and they turn a deaf ear.

Finally I decided I am going to have to just draw the line and let them decide what to do. I wrote an email to the kids tonight and told them exactly what I expect from them if they want to stay here. Part of that was Joel getting a job and cleaning up after himself, part was Katie acting like she appreciates what we're doing for her whether she feels it or not. She doesn't have to respect me, but she'd best act like she does!

I totally laid it on the line and gave them deadlines for different things along with the consequences of not cooperating. I reminded them that if they can't live by my standards, they are both of age to move out and make their own rules in their own homes.

I told them I hope they stay and straighten out, but I won't accept anything short of what I've asked for.

So now we'll see what results. I simply have to do something before I just lose it altogether. Thanks everyone for the support and ideas. I knew I could count on you all to be honest and upfront with me.

I will keep you posted as to how it goes. I also sent a copy to my oldest daughter so when they call her to whine about how unfair I'm being (or to have me committed), she will know the truth of the matter from my perspective.

HUGS

You GO Girl ! You have gone above and beyond for Katie on numerous occasions! Even Berry and your mom know it. Even if Greg doesn't support you I am pretty sure they will. I would stick to it. If Greg doesn't like it what exactly is he gonna do? He isn't there much as it is becuase of work.

Say Greg gets ticked. I am sure he has room in his truck for at least one more. It might be good for Joel to get away.

You deserve to be respected and I agree if they can't they should leave. It really is too bad that you can't ship them off to the military. I think you are right about it being good for them.

Keep me posted. ((HUGS))

[DianaB]

I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself!! Just stick with it and they'll see that you mean it and hopefully things will change. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

[Janet]

I think it's great that you sent them an email. That way you can get your feelings out without them wanting to debate it. I just know it will work out somehow, just stick to your rules.

[Kimberley]

Ah, Tink! You've gotten some good advice. I was going to suggest going on strike...I've done it in the past because I didn't get help from hubby. You just hang in there...you've got a great group of friends here that will back you up and support you.

I was also going to suggest...If it were me??? I'd take about $500-1,000 and leave for a week. I'd find a cheap hotel somewhere and take a vacation just for me. I'd sleep in, eat meals by myself, go sight seeing, go watch an opera...whatever. But I'd live for ME for a week.

[khardy57]

Tink,
You've really had some good advice given here. I'm glad to see that you've taken the first step to getting control back from your kids. I am going to go one step further though. If the kids don't straighten up, I'd leave. You said your husband would choose them over you - so be it. You MUST have some kind of peace in your life and if you can't get it any other way then I'd leave. They've got to realize that you are serious.

I hope it works out for you. Please let us know what happens.

Kim

[cindy0721]

Good for you Tink! I was also going to suggest some of the above but what everyone told you is right on the $$... tell you what IF that hubby of yours won't respect you or your decisions.. show him the door .. tell him if he does not agree with how you run your house well"That door he sees right there, is wide enough for all three of them to leave out of!"