Living Together Before Marriage?

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Marilyn

My opinion on this question does not matter. God gave us his Word as our guide and His opinion is the only one that does matter. He said that man should leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, not go live with his girlfriend. Sorry ladies, but if we are to be God's faithful children, we need to do what He says. He knows what is best for us and He loves us.

It's not my intention to offend anyone, but God is often very specific on issues, and if we are striving to be like His son, we need to be specific as well and speak when the Bible speaks and be silent when it is silent.

I agree with you 100%

[rivermom]

It clearly shows that everybody has their own thinking/opinion towards this subject.

It clearly shows that everybody has their own beliefs towards how they feel their life should be lived.

[Janet]

And isn't it wonderful that in this forum, no one is made to feel they are wrong, just because we all may believe differently? I've said it before, I'll say it again...4WT Rocks!!!!

[Tink]

Greg and I lived together 3 years before marrying. I'd had a really BAD 1st marriage, and there was no way I was subjecting myself or my daughter to that again. It took greg 3 yrs to convince me to marry him; and I seriously don't think I'd have ever built that trust if we hadn't lived together first.

Once I said yes, we were married within weeks. We've been married 21 yrs. I wouldn't say it's for everyone, but it obviously worked for us.

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by Tink

Greg and I lived together 3 years before marrying. I'd had a really BAD 1st marriage, and there was no way I was subjecting myself or my daughter to that again. It took greg 3 yrs to convince me to marry him; and I seriously don't think I'd have ever built that trust if we hadn't lived together first.

Once I said yes, we were married within weeks. We've been married 21 yrs. I wouldn't say it's for everyone, but it obviously worked for us.

exactly. I did the exact same thing. Wasn't sure I ever wanted to get married again.felt that all men are the same. only been married 3 years but congrats on finding a long happy marriage after a bad one Tink

[Gina]

Originally Posted by Tink

Greg and I lived together 3 years before marrying. I'd had a really BAD 1st marriage, and there was no way I was subjecting myself or my daughter to that again. It took greg 3 yrs to convince me to marry him; and I seriously don't think I'd have ever built that trust if we hadn't lived together first.

Once I said yes, we were married within weeks. We've been married 21 yrs. I wouldn't say it's for everyone, but it obviously worked for us.

Tink thats great, statically they say that couples who live together then marry usually break up. I find this to be true with couples that I know that have. Sad you would think that living together that they would be happy. Sometimes that piece of paper means something. I was raised pretty strict my parents would have killed me lol but I believe to each his own.

Hubby and I lived together for 6 months before we got engaged, were engaged for a year and have been happily married for almost 4 years. It worked out great for us!

I am currently living with my BF and its been great!! Reallly taught me how to share space and responsiblity.. I think all people should live together before getting married (JMO)

[goofywife]

I was married before. When I met Adam, I lived in Texas he lived in OK. When we decied that we were done with the long distance thing, my family said live together don't get married. In fact they were pretty admit about it.

It really was't for me. If I wsas going to uproot my daughter and I from Texas and our family, it was only going to happen if we got married. So rather than make waves with my family, I said ok, we will just live together. Mean while we planned a small ceremony. Just us, the witness, and the preacher. We got married the weekend I moved up.

About a year later, my mom and sisters came to visit for my GF wedding. We were at the bridal shower and someone said, Who is the one who married Adam. Needless to say Mom and Sisters turned around looked at me and said "do you have something to tell us".

We have been married for 13 years now.

[Taurus Babe]

I think that it's fine. If that's what you want to do. I think you learn a LOT about someone living with them even if you think you know them before you move in with them. I've learned SO much living with my bf. We only were with each other 9 times before I moved in with him!! It was love at first sight It totally depends on the people involved...I think that living with together before marriage is one less 'shock' you have to deal with after you tie the knot!

[blowry]

According to todays standards, I was married young, I was 21 when I married my first husband (that was 29 yrs ago). I had my first daughter 15 months after we got married. Then 5 yrs later we had another daughter. My marriage to Bob was not a good one. He was an abusive alcoholic. A decision was made for me to not work and stay home and raise our 2 beautiful daughters. I'm not really sure if I loved him when I married him or was in love with the idea of being married and having a family. After manys unhappy years I decided to end the marriage...which, wasn't an easy thing to do, even though I was the one that wanted it. I had been married for 19 yrs when I decided it was time to leave. It was the hardest thing in my life I have ever done. I feel that if we had lived together (my parents would have disowned me if I had done this) we probably wouldn't have gotten married. I dealt with my unhappy marriage because of the children...which wasnt' fair for them either.
I have been married to a wonderful man now for 8 yrs. We dated for a yr, lived together for a year then got married. We have our ups and downs like everyone else does but, we love and cherish each other.
I feel you don't really know a person unless you live with them.

[highlans]

I think when I married 33 years ago liveing together was not really done,I belive if you truely love your partner then it has to be marriage.

So another question to this is what about sex before marriage?

[DianeW]

My Husband And I Have Been Happily Married For 22 Years, We Have A Daughter Who Is 21, And We Lived Together For About 1 Year Before We Were Married.

We Had Bought Our First House And Only Decided To Get Married When We Decided To Have Our Daughter. Though We Knew We Would Get Married Some Day....

I Think It Is A Very Personal Decision, But I Am Glad We Did It This Way, And Would Be Happy If My Daughter Were To Live With Someone Before Making Thatfinal Commitment Of Marriage - Which To Me Is For Ever...

[Lissa]

Originally Posted by highlans

So another question to this is what about sex before marriage?

I'm against it. I think that's an intimacy that should be shared only in marriage. I know people my age are in shock that someone wouldn't sleep with their boyfriend. But I don't think that people take it as seriously as they should. Just look at the pregnancy rates in schools today. A recent graduating class of a high school in my area graduated 64 people, 37 of then girls, and 26 of them pregnant or mothers. There were even pregnant girls in my junior high school.

I know that there are all kinds of bc out today, but the only fool-proof way to prevent pregnancy is hysterecomy, vasectomy, or just to not do it. I know for one that I'm definately not ready to have kids, and many of the people I know that have children aren't mature enough to be parents.

I know being married doesn't necessarily make you mature, but there has to be a certain level of maturity that you obtain within the bonds of marriage because you learn how to share your life with another person and to take another person's needs into consideration. That can somewhat prepare you for having kids.

Of course there's also my religious beliefs that simply state that you do not sleep together before you're married.