How would you react?

[Tink]

It IS a tough situation.
Diana, that's the way the woman involved has always felt about it too. Which is why this is so hard for her. She has honored her vows, and part of her feels she should continue to... yet what they have is not a marriage in most ways. She still loves him, but it's not the way she should because he's not able to be there in any way for her. 30+ yrs of being his caretaker and facing life all alone has to have affected her.

She knows she could go from Saint to "heartless witch" in record time if she divorces him.

All 5 of her kids have told her they would love to see her happy and she's got their blessing. They don't see him as a father, because he's not been able to be one for so long. It's as if their father died long ago.

[Janet]

I would encourage her to find her happiness. I mean if her children are behind her, then she shouldn't worry about what others think.

[DianaB]

If her kids are alright with it I would say to go for it. I would hope that she would continue to check on her present husband and make sure that he's properly taken care of. This is a hard one for me because it goes against what I believe as a christian. I'm just glad that it's not me.

My Mom divorced my Dad after a very stressful marriage and she did it with my blessing. I have a hard time with divorce, but I knew that God had better things for her. She's been happily married to a wonderful man for about 12 years. He treats her like a queen and has really changed her life. So who am I to say that it's not right? As I said, tell her to go for it!

[Mandy]

Bless her heart! She has stood by hes side for 30 years, thats a very long time. It doesnt sound like that lady has had much of life, its about time she started living. Glad her children gave their blessings, that will make her feel better about the situation.
Tink, if i were you, i would encourage her.

I wish her a LOT of love & happiness!

[AngieDoogles]

Wow! What an amazing woman! I hope her children let her know how wonderful she has been in this situation and I'm glad she has you to tell her as well Tink. I think after all she has been through, she definitely deserves to be happy. If anyone looks down on her because of it, then they must not truly understand the situation. She has given so much of herself, I think it's about time for her to find happiness.

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by Mandy

Bless her heart! She has stood by hes side for 30 years, thats a very long time. It doesnt sound like that lady has had much of life, its about time she started living. Glad her children gave their blessings, that will make her feel better about the situation.
Tink, if i were you, i would encourage her.

I wish her a LOT of love & happiness!

I agree completely. I worked in nursing homes for almost 5 yrs. It is very sad to see what happens. MOST families drop someone off there & forget they exist. It's so nice to see someone who cares. I do think she should still check on him & I'm sure she would but she has been taking care of the body of her husband for over 30 yrs. I believe the soul can die with the mind long before the body does. She deserves happiness. She can't be miserable for the rest of her life because a tragedy took her husband's. & yes people may talk but he is basically dead. His body is still there but he is not the husband or father he was. Would anyone say something to her if she married 30 years after he had died? No...if people say something to her she just needs to remember that. No one else has walked in her shoes & most would NOT have made it over 30 years.

[Janet]

Please let us know how she is doing Tink. This thread has really touched my heart.

[Tink]

Thanks ladies! I feel she needs to have a life outside of that nursing home. She is such a good lady, and mother and friend. It's been just sad to see wht she's been through these past 30 yrs. Even her kids feel she's gone above and beyond.

Everyone so far has told her it's about time she does something for herself again.
I hope she will. I'll keep you posted if and when she does.