How to Prepare for a Mammogram!

DianaB · 06-23-2007, 02:55 PM

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And you can do this right in your own home!

Exercise 1

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

Exercise 2

Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

Exercise 3

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next week and do it again!!

CONGRATULATIONS! Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your mammogram!

Janet · 06-24-2007, 04:11 AM

I wish I would have seen this a long long time ago...I would have been so much more prepared!!

Marilyn · 06-24-2007, 04:40 AM

ROFL!!!! Good one!!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

judy · 06-24-2007, 07:29 AM

That's great! What is that mammogram thing all about anyway? My all time favorite is when they stick those nipple covers on you. I usually forget about then after they've sufficiently tortured and numbed out my breasts and find them when I get home that night.

Passionfruition · 06-25-2007, 08:21 AM

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

DianaB · 06-25-2007, 12:59 PM

I had a friend give me a paper with this on it a long time ago, before I ever had a mammogram. After I finally had one done I understood what all of the laughing was about. I'm glad that I ran across it again and that you enjoyed it!!!!

AngieDoogles · 06-25-2007, 01:13 PM

That's funny. I've never had one before and I don't think I want to, especially after reading that!! lol

Chandra Amaya · 06-26-2007, 05:32 PM

LOL That's great. Now I dread it even more.

judy · 06-27-2007, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

That's funny. I've never had one before and I don't think I want to, especially after reading that!! lol

Luckily, it's pretty fast, and you must have a sense of humor. Just watching a familiar body part being squashed like a grilled cheese sandwich being pushed down on a grill is so weird, it's funny.

Taurus Babe · 06-29-2007, 10:36 PM

Oh man that was comical!

06-23-2007, 02:55 PM	#1
DianaB Moderator Donating 4WT 13K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 16,069	How to Prepare for a Mammogram! Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And you can do this right in your own home! Exercise 1 Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn't effective enough. Exercise 2 Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast. Exercise 3 Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next week and do it again!! CONGRATULATIONS! Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your mammogram! __________________ ´¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends....... Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!!

06-24-2007, 04:11 AM	#2
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	I wish I would have seen this a long long time ago...I would have been so much more prepared!! __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

06-24-2007, 04:40 AM	#3
Marilyn Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: South Texas Posts: 4,907	ROFL!!!! Good one!!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!! __________________ Marilyn If anyone would like a free Bible Study CD or book entitled "Searching for Truth", PM me with your mailing address and I'll send you one. "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32

06-24-2007, 07:29 AM	#4
judy Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Denver, NY Posts: 8,097	That's great! What is that mammogram thing all about anyway? My all time favorite is when they stick those nipple covers on you. I usually forget about then after they've sufficiently tortured and numbed out my breasts and find them when I get home that night. __________________ *Judy*

06-25-2007, 08:21 AM	#5
Passionfruition Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Berlin, Germany Posts: 492	HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! __________________ "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."- Dr. Seuss

06-25-2007, 12:59 PM	#6
DianaB Moderator Donating 4WT 13K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 16,069	I had a friend give me a paper with this on it a long time ago, before I ever had a mammogram. After I finally had one done I understood what all of the laughing was about. I'm glad that I ran across it again and that you enjoyed it!!!! __________________ ´¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends....... Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!!

06-25-2007, 01:13 PM	#7
AngieDoogles Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 6,509	That's funny. I've never had one before and I don't think I want to, especially after reading that!! lol __________________ "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~MT

06-26-2007, 05:32 PM	#8
Chandra Amaya 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Tn Posts: 1,646	LOL That's great. Now I dread it even more. __________________ Traci

06-29-2007, 10:36 PM	#10
Taurus Babe Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 668	Oh man that was comical! __________________ Taurus Babe aka Thorsmomma

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