What to do...

[Lindsey]

Thanks Tink. I don't really feel that he's a control freak. With anything else he's very laid back. Your story made me think of the FIRST day we started dating... Of course we'd been seeing each other for awhile and we'd been friends for more than a year before that. My other love is sportbikes. If you remember, I bought one earlier this year and I've developed a passion for riding. So this day he drove me to pick up my bike after the first tune-up so I could enjoy the day on my bike while he and his friends went wakeboarding at the lake. He asked if he should wait for me but I said no I'll be fine! So he drove away to pick up his friends. Turns I didn't have enough money in my account to pay for it and I was stranded there. After getting through to him he came right back. I thought he was going to just take me home and I'd wait for my next paycheck to pick up my bike. Nope, he paid for it, and I got to ride. He wasn't even anxious for me to pay him back.
I don't think he will ever love my dog. But I think I can also work on her a little to be less needy. I got her when I was heartbroken and lonely and she was everything to me, and I pretty much gave everything to her. Kyle calls it her "princess attitude" and it really kind of is... When she whines, I'm right there for her. Kyle has two big dogs so I guess there's a big difference there. This whole thing was set off when I said if I don't have someone to at least give Layla fresh cold water for the weekend, I'd be taking her with us to my cabin. He said if his dogs can drink warm water and not die, why can't mine?

[Marilyn]

Lindsey, sounds like he might be just a little bit jealous and resents your dog for this reason. This could be something to think about for the long term. He could feel this way about children, also, and that would definitely not be good. You've been hurt before, and excuse us if we start acting a little bit motherly toward you, but we do care about you and know you deserve the best!!!

[RLC12345678]

Lindsey, I can totally relate. When I started dating my now dh in college, we both had dogs. I had a yorkie that my ex-boyfriend had given me and he had a lab that his ex-girlfriend had given him. We both hated each other's dogs because they represented our ex's. Both of our dogs ended up going to live with our parents, for many reasons, not just because we didn't like each other's dogs. Anyway, to this day our parents still have our dogs we had in college & now DH and I have a lab and yorkies that are OURS, not just his and hers. I'm sure your bf doesn't like Layla bc Layla isn't HIS. If I were you, I would try really hard to get your BF to accept Layla and try to make her "his" as well as "yours." Ask him to take her on walks and help you give her baths. Try to make him feel like you aren't putting Layla in front of him (even if you are). If it gets REALLY serious (or if it already is) between you two, refer to him as her "daddy." Make him hold her and give him kisses. I think he'll come around in time if he really loves you and if it was meant to be. Some people just aren't dog lovers. Hubby and I both love OUR dogs, but neither of us are keen on other people's dogs.

[AngieDoogles]

Great advice Rebecca!!

[Lindsey]

Thanks for all the replies!
My ex was very jealous of Layla. He admitted it. Whenever he came over he got upset when I'd give attention to her (for most of our relationship we lived 2 hours apart so we just got weekends together). He always asked why she has to sit on the couch with us, why does she get to be in my room while we slept, etc. Kyle and my ex are friends. Kyle told me that night that we had our talk that maybe it's just because Ryden hated my dog so much, he thinks most of his dislike just comes from stories Ryden has told him.
And, the first night we had a fight about her, I said something I regret... I was trying to tell him that she's huge part of my life and that would never change. I said "I love her more than I could ever love a person" and he got even more angry and said what's the point of even dating me. It's not something I should have said, but I think it's true!
Rebecca, I know he is a dog lover, but he's a "big dog" lover. He hates little "wussy dogs" like mine. Like I've said before, she is very princessy and sort of high maintenance. I have to brush her every night and bathtime takes an hour every week. But soon I'm giving her a shorter cut for the summer so that should cut down on a lot of time... He just doesn't understand why I have to brush my dog at all or why I do anything for her.
Oh and Marilyn, I love that you all care so much. My relationship with my mom isn't so great and I never talk to her about things like this... she hardly ever knows when I'm even dating someone! So I'm really glad I have all of you to talk to!

[Tink]

Lindsey, You'll get all the surrogate mothering here that you can handle. LOL

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by Tink

Lindsey, You'll get all the surrogate mothering here that you can handle. LOL

haha well everyone needs a mom or two right?