It's going to be an awkward night

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by Lindsey

Thanks for the support! We have to be there an hour early because Kyle has to help set up... maybe I can get a drink or two in me before he shows up and it might be a little easier! My roommate is coming along for support, so I can always just talk to her, even if Kyle is talking to Ryden. Hopefully it won't be as bad as I've been anticipating!

*Friendly warning* Try not to drink too much, you could end up saying things you might regret later.
Glad your roommate is going with you, when he walks in, or walks up to you, turn your back, and walk away. If he says, he wants to talk to you, tell him straight, you have nothing in commen with him, and you dont feel the need to discuss anything with him.

[judy]

Good luck, be strong, have courage and you're so right - it won't be as bad as you're
anticipating.

[AngieDoogles]

Hope everything went well last night Lindsey!

[Lindsey]

Ugh, I don't know what to say about last night.
He was there with his girlfriend before we even showed up. I ignored them. I was sitting down with my roommate while Kyle went over to talk to Ryden's group. Ryden came down later to talk to some people I was talking to, so I put an invisible wall there, and just talked to my roommate. Ryden kept trying to get my attention, and he even lightly kicked my leg so he could say hi. I didn't even look at him and he finally just went away. I went outside to find Kyle at one point and Ryden was out there with his girlfriend. The guys Kyle was talking to were like "Oh this is Ryden's ex, right? So you're just the rebound!" and by this time I had quite a bit to drink and I got a little angry, and as soon as that talk started, Ryden and his girlfriend got up and left.
Kyle got mad about something, I don't remember, but I was pretty upset and I started talking to his friend who I'd never met before, but he was just trying to console me and whatever. We were inside sitting at a booth and all of a sudden Ryden and his girlfriend come and sit with us. We were talking about Kyle so I felt uncomfortable and Ryden kept trying to cut in and talk to me and I was still trying to ignore him and I kind of just lost it, ran to the bathroom to cry a little. I came back with red eyes and told the guy let's find another booth to talk. After awhile, Kyle came and talked to me and everything was good.
Ryden was just around me constantly and finally I was like "Okay, let's just try to be friends then." So I asked Kyle if he would mind if I just asked Ryden about how to change oil in my bike. So I did ask. His girlfriend stood beside him shooting me nasty looks. He said something like "I don't know why you're ignoring me so much, what's going on" and I shouldn't have said anything but I said "Okay there's a lot of things on my mind that I just really want to get out if we had a minute alone" And his girlfriend STOMPED off.
So I told him I don't appreciate everything he's said about me. He apologized. He said he treated me like a princess, never cheated never lied. I said "You did too lie, you swore to me you weren't saying anything to anyone" and he was like "Okay one little lie, I'm sorry I hurt you" and I don't know he kept just pleading for me to be his friend and I basically said I can't really do that. Kyle eventually came over to say that his girlfriend was fuming so he should go talk to her. And then Kyle was mad again, saying he told me I could go talk about my bike, not start talking about anything else. I don't know, Kyle went outside without me and his other friend who I'm pretty close with was talking to me about it, saying he KNEW this was going to happen. I was crying, his friend was hugging me... Just really not a good night all around.

[Lindsey]

.... and last night Kyle broke up with me over Ryden.
Great weekend.

[judy]

Give him a few days. You know he's a big baby and is so insecure.

I think your telling Ryden what you had to see and him being sorry was a very good thing for you. He sounds like he cares for you as a person, and that's important.

Chocolate will make you feel better.

Kisses,

Judy

[Lindsey]

Thanks Judy.
We did talk yesterday, and smoothed things over somewhat. I think basically we just avoid talking about the big subjects. It's not working out, and I know it, and I've known it for a long time. I was talking (okay, crying) to a girlfriend yesterday morning before I saw him, and she was like "He might be a nice guy, but not the guy for you. You don't deserve this stress and you are too young to feel like you have to settle down." And I completely agree, but when I'm with him, I can't end it. I'll miss him too much, and I'll miss his family too much. I'm not ready to let go.
What I think bothers me the most about the Ryden thing is, yeah, maybe he does care about me as a person, but he doesn't make an effort to try to be my friend. In fact, he never talks to ANY of his old friends anymore. He's just obsessed with his new girlfriend, and why does he deserve to be so happy after he made me feel so bad and even my new relationship isn't happy?