Family gathering didn't go well.

[DianaB]

I'm so sorry, Janet, that your evening didn't go smoothly. At least you don't have to see your brother very often. Maybe the two of you should have a talk when you're alone and try and straighten out the problems between you. You might point out to him that you don't appreciate him bringing things up in front of everyone that needs to be dealt with privately.

My kids and grandkids are wonderful and we all get along really well but I'm not going to say that we don't have any problems. I've mentioned my brother but haven't said much about his family!!! My family hates to have them over but since he's my only sibling I'm stuck with being a good sister. We don't have trouble with arguing but with attitudes. I think that he's doing much better with his drug addiction but it was hard when he thought that we didn't know about it. He's got a daughter that is into drugs, a step-daughter (14) who acts very improper around guys, a step-son who is ADHD, and a spoiled little daugher who demands to have her way! Oh, he does have a couple of kids from another marriage that are wonderful and we love to have them over.

The good news is that they aren't up here very often so I don't have to deal with their problems. I've found that keeping my distance from those who cause me trouble helps me to like them more!!!!

That's over and done with, now enjoy the rest of your Christmas!!!

[judy]

I'm sorry your brother ruined your evening Janet, and that your brother and his family have such problems, Diana. I think every family has huge issues. You're all
on the same page as I am - don't see people who make you miserable.

Like Dr. Phil says, "Life's too short!"

[Marilyn]

Janet, so sad that your evening was spoiled like this. We have awesome children and just make our own family with them and their friends, and our church family, of course. Both of us have issues with our siblings so we just don't associate with them any more. It's sad, but sometimes you just have to cut the ties and restart the family. We are much happier this way, believe me. It's not like we haven't tried to get along, but on hubby's side they have issues like Diana has described with her brother and we just don't need to be around them.

Life is too short!! and too important.

[Janet]

Thanks all, I appreciate the support. I was feeling a little guilty, because after all he is my brother, but I just hate feeling like I'm walking on egg shells everytime I'm around him. One minute he can be so sweet and funny and then the next he is absolutley horrible and mean. I will no longer feel guilty. I need to protect the happiness and well being of my family and I just won't subject myself to that kind of emotional rollercoaster. I'm done.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Janet

Thanks all, I appreciate the support. I was feeling a little guilty, because after all he is my brother, but I just hate feeling like I'm walking on egg shells everytime I'm around him. One minute he can be so sweet and funny and then the next he is absolutley horrible and mean. I will no longer feel guilty. I need to protect the happiness and well being of my family and I just won't subject myself to that kind of emotional rollercoaster. I'm done.

Hugs Janet! These decisions are hard, but sometimes we have to do the right thing by distancing ourselves from those who cause us pain. I've never had to do this with family, but I have with friends and it's one of the most difficult things I've had to do.

Just remember, it will help you to feel better, which will in turn make your whole family happier and less stressed.

[Janet]

You're right Angie and I need less stress. It is very hard distancing one's self from family or friends. Part of the reason I would get so anxious about the holidays and my side of the family getting together is because of him. So, I will celebrate holidays with those I want to be around that way not only I, but my husband and son can enjoy them more too.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Janet

You're right Angie and I need less stress. It is very hard distancing one's self from family or friends. Part of the reason I would get so anxious about the holidays and my side of the family getting together is because of him. So, I will celebrate holidays with those I want to be around that way not only I, but my husband and son can enjoy them more too.

Good for you! I hope you enjoy your new stress-free holidays!