Why did you decide to have children?

[Mandy78]

You need to follow your own heart on this one.

I am 28, married almost 2 years, and still do not want children. I have my reasons too. SOme are very personal and others are along the same lines as what your thoughts are on this. Things are soooo different today then they were even 10 years ago. One of my issues is that parents do not discipline thier kids enough and they act out. I work in a hair salon, and they bring their kids with them to thier hair appts. GRRRR....The kids play witht the chairs, try to grab water hoses fromt he sink, spray people with water, pull products down from retail shelves, run thru the place while we are holding SHARP scissors, grab HOT irons....and so on and so on....and all the while, the parents rarely say anything. I don't get it.
When a parent DOES discipline a child in the shop, I do tell them how much I appreciate them doing so....But its everywhere you go....

Now I love children, I really do! I have nieces and nephews and many of my friends are having kids! And I have fun with them! But I really do not think parenthood is for me. My hubby feels the same way.

And when I tell people that I am not sure about having kids, and they get mad at me and say how could you not have kids, I tell them what I am thinking. I don't hold back. Not everyone who is married HAS to have children.

So again... follow your heart, and this is only a desicion you and your hubby and your faith can make!!!!!

I am a mother of 3 children,ages 15,11,and 5. They are my whole world,and I couldnt immagine my life without them,but I am SOOO Happy my youngest is in all day kindergarten now,because I finally get some me time . So, I think whatever decision you make you should be happy and dont worry about the others. Live your life for you.

I'm glad to read that I'm not alone on this. I have been married for almost five years and neither one of us want to have children. I don't have a maternal instinct. I don't want the big responsibilty of being a parent. If it happens (I'm making sure that doesn't happen ) well, it happens but is not something we are looking forward to it. Just my opinion.
My three kids are Chikis( Chihuahua), Jerome(Yorkie) and Kiki( cat) and they are my whole life and world, well hubby too.

[Janet]

We wanted kids, but eventually had to adopt. I didn't want everyone to know about all the infertility stuff we were going through, it was a roller coaster ride from the start. So when people were so rude to ask when were we having kids, I just asked them..."why do you want to know?" Some would just say they were just curious, and then I would say, "well you know what happened to the cat." Just ignore them, or think of a snappy comeback for their intrusive questions. It's no ones business and each of us have to make our own decisions and not have to defend them.

[Tink]

I have 3 children who I love dearly. Not one of them was really "planned".
My first was a result of being a stupid immature 18 yr old. I'm glad I have her, but no way would I have intentionally gotten pregnant with her when I did. I was actually on the pill when she was concieved.

My 2nd child was concieved on my honeymoon.

After my 3rd just 23 months later, we used a permanent solution. Enough was enough!

Seriously, if you don't desperately want kids, there's no reason you should feel obligated to have any. My original plan was NOT to have any, but once again fate had other ideas. I don't regret having mine, but I honestly don't think I'd have regretted not having any either if It had turned out that way. It's a very personal, life altering decision, so don't let anyone force their opinions on you.

[Ponyup]

Thank you all for your thoughts & help. One thing that bothers me is that I don't want to dissappointment my mom. I know she would be a wonderful, involved grandmother, like her mother was to me, but I'm not sure this is something I can handle. I've always been a late bloomer, maybe in another couple years I'll decide this is something I can handle or maybe my brother will have children & then the pressure is off me. I agree with one of the other women it's so scary to think about how quickly these children are forced to grow up. It's really not fair, they should be allowed to be children for as long as possible.

[Necee419]

I think it is so rude for people to ask "when are the babies coming?" I get this all the time. I am 30 years old and have people "politely" reminding me that my baby days are winding down. How the h@ll is it YOUR business how many child bearing years I have left? If half of the people in this world minded their own business as much as they mind yours, this world would be a better place. Don't ever feel like you have to justify your life choices to anyone. You must do what is right for you. Bringing a child into this world is an enormous responsibility and one that should not be taken lightly. I commend you for thinking carefully about this. If more people took the time to think things through before having children, then maybe we wouldn't have so many abused, unwanted children in this world.