Don't know what to do!

[NicoleMarcelle]

Haley i hope everything works out for you!!! that was a sweet gesture of him though... hugs to you

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by NicoleMarcelle

Haley i hope everything works out for you!!! that was a sweet gesture of him though... hugs to you

I know it was very nice of him, i should have thank him for the flowers, instead i asked what they were for? Just tired girl ! I have so much on my plate right now, and he's been working 7 days a week. i just need a break.

[NicoleMarcelle]

Originally Posted by HALEY

I know it was very nice of him, i should have thank him for the flowers, instead i asked what they were for? Just tired girl ! I have so much on my plate right now, and he's been working 7 days a week. i just need a break.

i understand... big hugs to you!!! and i hope you get your break soon... if i was closer i'd baby sit for you so you could go pamper yourself ... i love kids

[HALEY]

Oh thanks hun, that was so sweet of you, i was just thinking today, i really need my hair done, my gray hair is sneaking back out again
I'm just going thru a bad time right now, hopefully it will pass soon, i just keep saying to myself, if God brings you to it, he'll get you thru it....

[NicoleMarcelle]

Originally Posted by HALEY

Oh thanks hun, that was so sweet of you, i was just thinking today, i really need my hair done, my gray hair is sneaking back out again
I'm just going thru a bad time right now, hopefully it will pass soon, i just keep saying to myself, if God brings you to it, he'll get you thru it....

yup, remember G-d will never give you an obstacle/test you can't pass/get through...

[DianaB]

I think that every mother with a young child has felt like you do! Overwhelmed!! And in-law problems don't help. Remember that you married your husband, not his family.

First of all, simplify your life so you don't feel so busy and have time for your husband and baby. Say no to things that you don't have to do and get rid of things that you don't absolutely want to do.

I can sympathize with having your husband side with his mother because my husband, even after 33 years, is still like that. Every big arguement we've ever had has been because of his family. Hanging in there sometimes has been hard but my husband is a wonderful man and the thought of raising my children in two separate households just wasn't something that I wanted to do.

Believe me when I say that things will get better. Try to talk to your husband about the problems that you're having without attacking his mother and offer some solutions to help the situation. Not having your MIL babysit will give you some distance from her. I find that I like my MIL better if I'm not around her very much.

Don't be too quick to start talking about separation or divorce. My husband and I have always had an unspoken agreement that we would never bring those two things up and would work through things. We're in this for the long haul and sometimes it's really not easy! Good luck!

[Gina]

Haley you have been given good advice from the ladies as usual. I will put in my two cents and talk to you as if I were talking to my own daughter.

Marriage is a hard job especially when you are first married and children come into play. Every stage of marriage has its ups and downs. Trust me there is no perfect marriage out there. Like Diana said you cannot fight over your MIL and other family members they should be left out of the equation. He loves his mother and he loves you. He did married you but sometimes men cannot tell their moms to stay out of their marital life. I have a son and a daughter, I see and you will see what a mothers love is. From the day your son is born he is everything to you. Some day yes he will married and I promise myself as long as his wife treats my son wonderful I will not interfere. I do hope that she will love and respect me for if not it will be her lost for I know I would treat her well. Sometimes MIL have this stigma placed on them from the start in which is not fair. DIL have a tendency to stay close to their family and shut out the in laws which is not right either. I feel communication is always best for all.

He brought you flowers he is telling you in his own way that he loves you, you have a baby to raise. Yes if he has other issues, drinking, gambling, womanizing then by all means leave. If it is just his family thats breaking you up , Don't let this happen. One day talk to each other and express how you feel, maybe he is realizing that he is losing you and wants to make it work. I to almost left my husband a few years ago, and my children were very upset. I just couldnt do this to them, I know people say you can't live your lives by your children. But you know what if I left I know my kids would have not succeeded in their education.We did go together for counciling and he is trying. We will be together 26 yrs. Haley heed want Diana has said don't have them babysit, hire someone to do it. On weekends every so often get a babysitter and go out on a date. Don't be quick to leave, give it time and see what happens.

Sometimes marriages that have problems become stronger because of it. But it takes time.

PS I had my FIL who was a pain in the neck, I learned to yes him to death and always did want I wanted it kept the peace.

[Marilyn]

Haley, you've been given some excellent advise here, so I will try to keep my comments brief. This is 34 going on 35 years of marriage speaking.....there is no perfect marriage. If someone says their's is, they are either lying or deluding themselves. There are certain periods in every marriage where things become difficult and you look at each other and wonder how this happened, how did I marry this person. It sounds like you are in one of those periods. Please give it more time. Try to remember what drew you to him in the beginning of your relationship. All of your lives will be richer later if you can make it through this period. The key is honest, sincere, non-confrontational communication and building trust. You have to communicate lovingly, and not argue. More than likely, you feel like you are doing more for him than he is for you, and he probably feels like he is doing more for you than you are for him. Communication is key!!!!!
Sincerely hope this helps!!!