When You Though I Wasn't Looking!

[NicoleMarcelle]

so sweet and so true... thanks for sharing Kat... i definitely experienced that when i was working as a preschool teacher

[Janet]

This was so wonderful, but Kat, it also made me sad. I didn't have that growing up. My younger brother was the favorite. I'm just going to make a few comments.


WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING


A message every adult should read because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one. My mom didn't want things messed up and putting a picture on the refrigerator wouldn't look good.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals. I was told to leave stray animals alone so they wouldn't stick around.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life. Only had a cake on our birthdays

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him. We went to church for such a short time, camping became more important. I wish I learned more about God when I was younger, I envy Diana and Marilyn with their vast knowledge of the scriptures.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other. Never saw something like that either...costs too much money to not eat it ourselves.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't. I honestly never saw this either, my mother was quick to criticize

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given. This did happen and maybe it's why I'm so nuerotic about organization.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn' t feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up. This was a very good lesson I was taught and one I value highly.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry. Didn't see too many tears, we were told to 'get over it' and 'quit acting like a baby'.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be. I never had confidence when I was younger, didn't happen really till way after I was married. My younger brother was the baby and that's where most of the attention went.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up. I learned that when I was old enough to get a job, I could have whatever I wanted as long as I paid for it.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.' No comment

WHO DO SO MUCH FOR OTHERS, BUT THINK THAT NO ONE EVER SEES.
LITTLE EYES SEE A LOT.

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend) influences the life of a child.

How will you touch the life of someone today? Just by sending this to someone else, you will probably make them at least think about their influence on others.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

This is why I try my hardest to always give a positive comment to my bus kids, it may be the only one they hear. My bus looks like an art gallery at times, because I tape their pictures up for all to see. I guess I did learn alot, but by NOT seeing some of those things and knowing I wanted to see them.

Please, no pity party, but we all grow up so differently and yet can come together as wonderful friends.

[Forgivenmom5]

Janet I had a very similar life. Not a lot of positive comments. My mother still does not have a very positive attitude.

[Janet]

Mine doesn't either Debbie. Oh I love her and I will help her with anything, but she still is a very selfish self absorbed person. To this day, she expects us kids to do for her, but she feels she already did for us, now it's her turn. No wonder she's really not a happy person.

[DianaB]

My Mom did a lot of those things but still I didn't feel a lot of love from her. The only time I remember her telling me that she loved me was when our pastor had us separate into our family groups to pray together and then it was said with tears in her eyes. That was one thing that I do differently. I tell my kids all the time that I love them, no tears.

And Janet, my Mom has always given my brother more attention and still does. My kids even notice it now. I just don't let it get to me anymore. When I grew up I was always closer to my Dad than I was to my Mom.

When I grew up we went to church every time the doors were open. Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and any other day something was happening. I grew up on all of the little kid's Bible stories. In my teen aged years I really resented it because sometimes my friends were doing something else on those days but I HAD to be in church. Now I go because I want to not because I have to.

I wish with all of my heart that my Mom and I had a better relationship but I've given up on ever being very close. Oh, we do things but it's never like a "girlfriend" thing. I have a lot more fun with her sisters, my aunts. That's why I go to see them. They fill me up with what ever it is that I need from my Mom and don't get.

[Janet]

I always knew Mom loved me, but I also knew she loved Brad more. He was the youngest and had a more outgoing personality, while I was shy and afraid to do anything by myself.

Mom has told me she loved me, but not often. Just like you...I tell my son I love him probably 20 times a day, seriously. I love him so much I can't help but tell him.

I was closer to my Dad too and when he passed away, I felt really alone with just Mom and my brother.

We only went to Sunday School. I think Mom wanted us to learn something about God. But then her and Dad got interested in camping so we started camping with my brother and I were still small enough to sleep on the same cot.

I did attend church with a friend in high school for a short time, but my mom didn't like driving me across town and then have to come pick me up again and that was when they weren't camping. I didn't always go camping with them because I had a part-time job.

I didn't have aunts and uncles who we were close with, Mom got on their nerves a lot so we weren't invited all the time. When I type this out, it's so easy to see why I've turned out like I have...still I have questions.

[DianaB]

I think that all of our life experiences are what forms us into what we are today. We carry with us things that we want to keep in our lives and ways that we'd do things differently. Some of the ways that I've been raised I kept but I certainly have added my own twist to how I wanted to parent my children or get along with my husband. And, my own children do things differently than I did.

My Mom has fun but she's not one to just let go and have a great time. She's very different than her 5 sisters. I can go with anyone of them and just laugh and cut up and have a great time. They don't understand why she is the way she is either but when I'm with them I feel so refreshed. I'm really looking forward to next weekend when we go to Branson, my Mom and I are going together but 4 of her sisters will be there too. I wish that you could join us, Janet. You'd laugh until your sides hurt. They are soooo much fun. I'll get some pictures of them.

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by Forgivenmom5

Janet I had a very similar life. Not a lot of positive comments. My mother still does not have a very positive attitude.

A very positive attitude? wow, to say the least! This woman is still bringing my mom down. every time mom talks to her she says something like "The surgery may be worse than you think." I want to tell mom to just cut off all contact with her. It's like she tried to make everyone as miserable as she is. I am so glad that mom has found all of you and has positive people and well wishers in her life. Thank you All!!![

[Chandra Amaya]

Kat what an honor to you and Jenny what a beautiful post for your mom. As for Janet and mom, The good news is that we do not have to become our parents and my mom is proof of that. Even through her fight with cancer, All I hear from her is worries of the grandkids not being around enough because they have the sniffles, her worrying about taking care of my son's birthday before her surgery because it's six days after her surgery and she will not be able to drive and her worrying about the two at home having to ride the bus instead of being driven to school. Even now she thinks of her kids and grandkids before herself. She is so opposite of mamaw and I am so glad! Janet, I think the same applies to you. I have seen so many posts about your son. I think our kids help with that and even though I know mom never heard, "I love you" or got hugs as a child she gets them now from her kids and grandkids. Janet, I am sure that you hear that from your son as well and if not send him to us. YOU WILL soon after we get our hands on him!

[DianaB]

Jenny, what a wonderful post about your Mother!!!