So tired, can't sleep

[Lindsey]

I don't think I really said it was a personal assault against me or my house... I just thought it was rude. I don't do that when she's in the house because I know it makes her uncomfortable. Same with Kyle's roommates. We make our alone time to have our alone time.
And the monthly budget... impossible. Any rent in the city is more than my paychecks monthly. I'm dealing with roommate because I HAVE to. I was just looking for some support. I have panic attacks when I can't get to sleep, and I always have. I was upset about her waking me up like that, and she did apologize, and that's fine.

[Janet]

Lindsey, maybe you could just write her a nice letter or something so she really knows how you feel. Maybe it would help if you both agree to not have guys over unless the other person is gone.

[Lindsey]

Thanks for the idea Janet. I'm not good with face to face confrontation... or honestly face to face ANYTHING with her! I just feel awkward talking about anything personal, but we do send each other messages on facebook at work and stuff... and it's not a big surprise that that's how she apologized to me too lol. Honestly we have better conversations through our computers in rooms right beside each other, than we do talking face to face

[pope1982]

Sorry if my post came across the wrong way, let me see if I can word things better.
I have been on my own pretty much since opting to move in with my dad at the start of the divorce when I was 14, he worked days and nights... had a place with my older brother in my later teen years, moved all over the East coast, seen all kinds of crazy things and lived with all kinds of crazy people so I had to grow up and toughen up fairly quick.

So when I see you say you are crying in a lot of your venting posts, I don't really know how to respond in all honesty as I think we have lead very different lives up to this point.
I try to give my honest advice, point of view and possible solutions. I tend to be very to the point and I know typed words aren't always perceived the best. Believe it or not, I am a lot like you, writing allows me to best express myself. Face to face I am more an observer, very laid back. I don't have much to say unless it is a smartass joke or unless I am spoken to first so I am used to being misunderstood as per my personality.

So if my concern for your emotions came across as b&%chy, those weren't my intentions.

[Ponyup]

Lindsey, I know just how you feel. I had an aweful roommate who's boyfriend moved in & practically forced me to hole up in my room the whole time. It was a miserable year. It happened to be the year I met my husband which was a major help because I'd go see him every other weekend. On the way home from his place though I'd have panic attacks & cry because I didn't want to go back & didn't know what to do. I know now I should have stood up for myself & put my foot down early on, but I know that's a lot easier said then done.

I also know how you feel about the sleep thing. I get that way too, I look at the clock every few minutes & sigh if I could get to sleep right now I'd still get 3 hours & 20 minutes. And the more you think about it, the more you can't sleep. Well this happens try getting up & doing something else. Read a book, do laundry, clean. Anything to get your mind off not sleeping & then when you feel tired go to sleep. Don't make it such a big deal. Again easier said then done. If it were me & she woke me up I'd probably turn on my radio really loud while I did something. Maybe she'd get the hint & be more respectful in the future.

I also think you should try & talk to your roommate. It sounds like she has self esteem issues & likes the attention she gets from men. I think she needs someone to help her realize she's worth more than that.

[goofywife]

I would take a different approach. I like to listen to bag pipe music. So, at 6:00 when you were supposed to get up. I would hop out of bed, turn the music on (rather loudly). Start cooking a big breakfast (using lots of pots and pans) make as much noise as you can. Do it every time.

She will get the point, no need for words, just actions. For every action their is a reaction.

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by goofywife

I would take a different approach. I like to listen to bag pipe music. So, at 6:00 when you were supposed to get up. I would hop out of bed, turn the music on (rather loudly). Start cooking a big breakfast (using lots of pots and pans) make as much noise as you can. Do it every time.

She will get the point, no need for words, just actions. For every action their is a reaction.

I actually did make noise in the morning too lol... it's also something the two of us did together last winter when my brother decided to have a big party on a weeknight when we had to work in the morning and he didn't. We got up early and blasted Christmas music throughout the house They had gone to sleep an hour earlier, and the house cleared out pretty quickly.
But yesterday morning I got up and had a shower, made coffee, made breakfast, all while watching the dog whisperer pretty loudly on tv. Last night, after the apology and everything, I heard her on the phone with someone complaining "I tried watching a movie when I got up, and she had it just CRANKED. I don't know how she could hear me at 2 in the morning when she can't even hear the tv at a normal level" Oh well.

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

I also think you should try & talk to your roommate. It sounds like she has self esteem issues & likes the attention she gets from men. I think she needs someone to help her realize she's worth more than that.

Oh my gosh, I have tried!!! Last year she was dating this absolute loser... he was 30 years old and lived with his mom and step-dad. But he acted like a kid in regards to his step-dad, they fought daily. He had a dead-end job and he couldn't even drive because he had a DUI. Anyways, he would always make plans with my roommate and then not show up. Or he would just not answer his phone when she would call 20 times a night, and then blame it on his cell phone not working. Or his voicemail wasn't working, he didn't get voicemails. His texting wasn't working. Whatever.
Anyways, one night her and I went out together, and he was supposed to be there and he didn't show up. We honestly spent half the night in the bathroom talking and hugging and crying... I was completely honest and told her I don't like this guy, she's a wonderful person and does not need to be treated like that. I didn't want to see her keep getting hurt. And she was crying and saying she knows that deep down but she's not strong enough to let it go... she just always wanted to wait a little longer to see if he'd change, but she knew in her heart he never would.
Kyle picked me up about 5 minutes later and I felt so good about our little talk. Kyle spent the night with me (just sleeping!) and we woke up in the morning and I was telling him how I'm so glad Stacey is finally going to leave this guy. And then... squeak squeak squeak squeak from her bedroom. We both looked at each other like It was him.
He showed up about a half hour after I left, and he apologized for being late, and that was good enough for her. Our whole night of heart-to-heart, hugs, tears, meant nothing as soon as he showed up