I am single

[Lindsey]

I still know I made the right decision, but it sucks that he's sooooooooo sad, he said he hasn't eaten in days and if he does he throws up and he wishes he could have changed something and blah blah blah... I don't know, it's just really tough. I'm used to being dumped, not dumping someone. I know exactly how he feels. I do miss him, but I think I miss him out of the habit of being with him constantly. I had a dream last night that his family hated me for making him so sad!!

[celstu1]

These are the things he shouldn't be telling you You already feel bad, you don't need to know the details of what his sadness is doing to him. It's not fair to you. You should tell him that soon you guys will need to not talk for awhile, a month or so... just to get used to not leaning on each other. Its a hard adjustment, but there is one thing he needs to realize, the one who caused him the pain (no offence) cannot be the one to fix his pain. In other words you comforting him from the pain of you breaking up with him will not help him in anyway at all to move on.

[Dobie]

I agree, allowing him to talk to you is just prolonging this for him - it's probably giving him hope that you will get back together. In the long run, you would be being kinder to him by insisting there is a complete break for a while.

[judy]

Originally Posted by Lindsey

I still know I made the right decision, but it sucks that he's sooooooooo sad, he said he hasn't eaten in days and if he does he throws up and he wishes he could have changed something and blah blah blah... I don't know, it's just really tough. I'm used to being dumped, not dumping someone. I know exactly how he feels. I do miss him, but I think I miss him out of the habit of being with him constantly. I had a dream last night that his family hated me for making him so sad!!

It does suck to break up with someone. I ended my second marriage. It was one of the hardest thing I've ever had to do. According to him, I broke his heart, which broke mine.

At the end of the day, I will always feel guilty and sad for hurting somebody I have loved for years. I am now happy though. I could not have been happy had I stayed with him.

It does get easier, especially if you break contact as much as possible with him.

I'm sorry you're going through this Lindsey. You'll be happy in the end.

[Lindsey]

Thanks everyone I haven't heard from him in 2 days and I feel GREAT. My roommate told me that one of her friends saw him out last night getting a lot of attention from girls and I said "GOOD!" I am honestly so glad he's getting out and not just moping around his house.
I can honestly say I am so happy right now, more happy than I've been in a long long time.
Pope, you're right, the relationship was over long ago. I had checked out a long time ago. I just need the strength to really end it. Everytime I tried, he would make me feel so guilty for trying to hurt him. Or on the other hand he would make me feel like dirt, like I'd never get anyone better than him so why even try to leave. And that used to work, but not now. I love myself too much to keep hurting myself by being in a relationship that I know is not going anywhere.
I am so glad my eyes were opened by my friends who are in happy healthy relationships. I want what they have. I don't want to be held down, I want to be supported. I want to feel attractive and loved.
And my eyes may have been opened by someone else too. It's just a little premature to talk about right now I'm not jumping into anything at the moment, because I'm for sure going to still be a single girl for NYC
But right now the bottom line is I'm happy, my family is happy, and my friends are happy. You should have seen the relief when I told my roommate! And my mom told me she figured he wasn't right for me all along. Everything just seems to be going right for me now.

[Marilyn]

Lindsey, so glad you were strong and are feeling better now. You deserve to be happy!!!!! Enjoy your freedom!!! And watch out in NYC, there are probably a LOT of single guys there!!