favoritism

Originally Posted by jck4b

I have a subject that has touched home.... Grandparents favoring one (or more) grandchildren over others.... This has happened in our family & I always held my tongue. I fiqured that if I did say something then any change in the GP's behavoir would be phony & that would be worse.When my kids were young (under10) I would make up excuses for the obvious difference in treatment. When they got older I stopped lying because my kids didn't buy the excuses anymore, & I felt foolish doing it. Now that their adults there is no relationship between them & I find it sad that my kids grew up w/ no GP in their lives even though they were very much alive .... Has this happened to anyone here & how did you handle it?

are you my secret sister in law? LOL
I hhave the same exact thing.. my kids are older now too and they ar VERY aware of the favoritism... I simply explained to both of them that they have a great family here and on my side of the family so not to worry about it. We NEVER see the inlaws and dont go there unless it is a special event. I just keep them as happy as possible and in my family that they dont feel they are missing anything. I think it is sad that when their grandparent are really old they will wonder why my kids arent there.... it is a sad situation for anyone.

[Sherry Lynn]

How horrible! Do they realize that they're doing it? What would they say if you confronted them....

Say something like... the kids can't come over when Little Johnny is there because it hurts their feelings so much when you treat Little Johnny so much better than you do them. So rather than see their feelings hurt so badly, I prefer to keep them away.

I don't have children, but with my nieces and nephews I always try to keep things as equal as possible. I do tease them a lot and I'm always telling them 'Don't tell the others, but you know you're my favorite!' Now that they're older they just grin, roll their eyes and finish the sentence for me.

[SweetCuteness]

This is all horrible! Your BIL's girlfriend isn't even technically a part of the family and you've been there for years. I'm sorry you're going through this. I would feel exactly the same way. When the grandparents are older, and all the grandkids are grown, they'll regret what they've done now... especially when they feel neglected and don't ever come around the grandparents. Maybe then the grandparents will understand how it feels.