My Husband had an affair with "my best friend"

I really appreciate all your advice and kind words. You all all so kind, I wish I would had you when I was in the middle of that mess. Like I said, it's good to have have some one to talk too, I never knew what the right thing to do was. SOOOOOOO...I just followed my heart.
I guess I didn't explain things very good. I am no longer in contact with the "friend". She did call me alot during the affair. Trying to talk me into letting him leave with her. However he really didn't want to go with her. Like I mentioned before. All he wanted was his cake and eat it too.
I found out from her husband. He called to tell me that she had told him "she was in love with my husband and they were going to move in together". I called my husband ( We will call him "D"). And he confirmed that information. I ask him to come home so we could talk about it. And we did. WOW! He told me the whole story. How it started, (been going on for 1 mo. at that time).
I took some time to think and decided that I wasn't going to let her win. It was quite a 6 mo. struggle. I threw him out and begged him to stay all most every day. She would call me and leave terrible messages some times 15-20 messages a day. The messages show what a crazy women she had become. Someone I had never knew. I could tell you ladies something’s that she did you would never believe.
One example before I knew about the affair, she called me call me at work wanted to come take me out for lunch. She showed up late and we rushed through the lunch. What really happen that day..... She had sex with "D", took me to lunch , went back to have sex with "D". then when her husband came home had sex with him and after all that, she and her husband had dinner with us. Now that's what I call a good dependable friend..

I could go on and on with stories like that. but what I'm really trying to do is move on. Of course we have had to change our phone numbers 5 times. It didn't take long until the affair became a "fatal attraction" situation. But by March is was finally over. It took the 2 of us to fight her off of us and out of out life. The last time she tried to call him and sent him a text message we forwarded those on to her husband’s cell phone.. that was 2 mos. ago. We are working very had to get through this. We have talked about canceling but don think we will go that route just yet. Things are getting better. We sold out house and moved away from them. But before we did that they bought a home 5 miles from us back in Dec. 05 she was already planning her future with "D" at that time. LOL 5 times he was suppose to leave me and 5 times he left her holding her bags. She was a good persuader, but never good enough I guess.

[Necee419]

Hi welcome to 4womentalk!! I am so sorry you had to go through this. I caught an ex-boyfriend of mine cheating on me with another girl and it was tough. i forgave him but I was never able to trust him after that. Eventually I broke up with him because I couldn't handle things. Every time he was late, or I didn't know where he was, I assumed he was out cheating. I took its toll on me emotionally and my self esteem was non-existent. I admire you for your courage to stick it out with your husband. However, I agree with the ladies that you both need counseling. You may forgive your husband but you will never forget the betrayal and those old insecurities will resurface the minute something happens. A professional can help you work through those feelings. Your husband also must take responsibility for his actions as well. Granted the lady sounds like a psycho but it takes two to tango and he NEVER should have betrayed you with her in the first place. Best of luck to you both and I hope you find a way to make peace in your relationship.

[khardy57]

I was cheated on by my first husband and gave him more than one second chance. First of all, you BOTH have to want the marriage to work. If so, he will agree to get help. Secondly, cut ties with the woman. I won't call her friend because she is undeserving of that title. If you have to, get your tel number changed and have it unlisted. Third, at his age he knew better! He'd have to really do some groveling to try to make it better.

I'll pray for you that God gives you the strength and courage to do what's right for YOU!

[Kimberley]

Originally Posted by Winkie

I really appreciate all your advice and kind words. You all all so kind, I wish I would had you when I was in the middle of that mess. Like I said, it's good to have have some one to talk too, I never knew what the right thing to do was. SOOOOOOO...I just followed my heart.
I guess I didn't explain things very good. I am no longer in contact with the "friend". She did call me alot during the affair. Trying to talk me into letting him leave with her. However he really didn't want to go with her. Like I mentioned before. All he wanted was his cake and eat it too.
I found out from her husband. He called to tell me that she had told him "she was in love with my husband and they were going to move in together". I called my husband ( We will call him "D"). And he confirmed that information. I ask him to come home so we could talk about it. And we did. WOW! He told me the whole story. How it started, (been going on for 1 mo. at that time).
I took some time to think and decided that I wasn't going to let her win. It was quite a 6 mo. struggle. I threw him out and begged him to stay all most every day. She would call me and leave terrible messages some times 15-20 messages a day. The messages show what a crazy women she had become. Someone I had never knew. I could tell you ladies something’s that she did you would never believe.
One example before I knew about the affair, she called me call me at work wanted to come take me out for lunch. She showed up late and we rushed through the lunch. What really happen that day..... She had sex with "D", took me to lunch , went back to have sex with "D". then when her husband came home had sex with him and after all that, she and her husband had dinner with us. Now that's what I call a good dependable friend..

I could go on and on with stories like that. but what I'm really trying to do is move on. Of course we have had to change our phone numbers 5 times. It didn't take long until the affair became a "fatal attraction" situation. But by March is was finally over. It took the 2 of us to fight her off of us and out of out life. The last time she tried to call him and sent him a text message we forwarded those on to her husband’s cell phone.. that was 2 mos. ago. We are working very had to get through this. We have talked about canceling but don think we will go that route just yet. Things are getting better. We sold out house and moved away from them. But before we did that they bought a home 5 miles from us back in Dec. 05 she was already planning her future with "D" at that time. LOL 5 times he was suppose to leave me and 5 times he left her holding her bags. She was a good persuader, but never good enough I guess.

WOW! What a freaking PSYCHO!!!!!!!!!!