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Janet · 08-26-2009, 04:33 PM

Sometimes it's okay to not care. It's not that we really don't care....we're just tired of the frustration. I call these kinds of people toxic. I can care about them, but don't need to have them in my daily life. I was never close with mine either. We were just not on the same wavelength.

I hope you can just accept what is and be happy anyway. We can't please everyone and really.....I'm not sure we would really want to....how exhausting. I feel bad for your SIL....she should apologize to him.

gja1000 · 08-26-2009, 05:37 PM

I agree with Janet - it's not so much that you don't care - you just can't afford to expend any negative energy with the situation. Oh, I know it upsets you regarding your sil - and it should since you know the situation to be untrue. Janet is also right, these types are toxic and - if you let them - they will suck the energy right out of you!

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, and beleive me, I know, it is doubly difficult in a small town!!!

DianaB · 08-26-2009, 06:40 PM

I know what you mean about being toxic. I will look over this.........again. It's just that it's fresh and I'm upset. It seems like she always has some insensitive remark to make......and once, just once I'd like to just stand up to her and say "Enough!!" I won't because I don't want to make the whole family mad at me, but I guess, I can dream!!! LOL

Janet · 08-29-2009, 03:39 AM

The only thing you can do....is if you are in her presence when she says something appalling or disrespectful....call her on it instead of letting it go.....I always ask..."why would you say something like that?"

gja1000 · 08-29-2009, 03:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janet

The only thing you can do....is if you are in her presence when she says something appalling or disrespectful....call her on it instead of letting it go.....I always ask..."why would you say something like that?"

Janet, that is an excellent suggestion! "Why would you say something like that?" is throwing the ball back into her court. And depending on your tone of voice, if not an "accusing" voice, but a questioning voice, then it might be interesting as to the answer you get! I really like that - and I have used it in the past in somewhat similar situations - actually I wanted to tell the person to "SHUT THE F UP", but "Why would you say that" is much less inflammatory!!!

DianaB · 08-29-2009, 12:25 PM

That's a good suggestion!! I'll keep that in mind!! Thanks!

Chandra Amaya · 08-29-2009, 02:47 PM

These are the things that make me recall how happy I am to be divorced.

08-26-2009, 04:33 PM	#1
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	Sometimes it's okay to not care. It's not that we really don't care....we're just tired of the frustration. I call these kinds of people toxic. I can care about them, but don't need to have them in my daily life. I was never close with mine either. We were just not on the same wavelength. I hope you can just accept what is and be happy anyway. We can't please everyone and really.....I'm not sure we would really want to....how exhausting. I feel bad for your SIL....she should apologize to him. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

08-26-2009, 05:37 PM	#2
gja1000 Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Central Texas Posts: 5,717	I agree with Janet - it's not so much that you don't care - you just can't afford to expend any negative energy with the situation. Oh, I know it upsets you regarding your sil - and it should since you know the situation to be untrue. Janet is also right, these types are toxic and - if you let them - they will suck the energy right out of you! I'm sorry you have to deal with this, and beleive me, I know, it is doubly difficult in a small town!!! __________________ Gayle

08-26-2009, 06:40 PM	#3
DianaB Moderator Donating 4WT 13K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 16,069	I know what you mean about being toxic. I will look over this.........again. It's just that it's fresh and I'm upset. It seems like she always has some insensitive remark to make......and once, just once I'd like to just stand up to her and say "Enough!!" I won't because I don't want to make the whole family mad at me, but I guess, I can dream!!! LOL __________________ ´¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends....... Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!!

08-29-2009, 03:39 AM	#4
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	The only thing you can do....is if you are in her presence when she says something appalling or disrespectful....call her on it instead of letting it go.....I always ask..."why would you say something like that?" __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

08-29-2009, 12:25 PM	#6
DianaB Moderator Donating 4WT 13K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 16,069	That's a good suggestion!! I'll keep that in mind!! Thanks! __________________ ´¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends....... Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!!

08-29-2009, 02:47 PM	#7
Chandra Amaya 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Tn Posts: 1,646	These are the things that make me recall how happy I am to be divorced. __________________ Traci

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